Deja vu

Again it happens.Am I shy? Or do people think they can walk all over me.do u think tht somebodies misfortune in life, makes them entitled to do things tht bad friends wld do .this is the fourth time this is happening.I like a guy ,I am contemplating whether or not to do something and then 'friend x' walks in and blindly despite my subtle hints goes right after without turning around.my anger does not stem from wanting the guy.it stems from the fact tht why doesn't she as a friend turn around and ask o my friend has been since a whole year, is there a reason she does not like him or is she interested.can I try to be friends with him for her? No instead pays mo heed to my feelings continues to single mindedly go after him.now I have to play the role of a friend and supposed to act happy and excited while instead I am actually not feeling tht inside.it gets even worse when I speculate if the guy was interested in me and now since I am playing friend , he thinks I am not interested.I don't know what to do.should I talk to her.?should I tell her tht it wld have been nice for get to consider me?or is it wrong to expect her to see this from my point if view.

Pain

I now understand atleast to some extent the pain because of which peole want to give up this material world.Some of my objects if desire, be it a person or a thing give me so much of unbearable pain that I wonder when I would be free of such a yearning.of late, I turn to god to stop me from want something so much that it hurts.I revel in my ambitions and happiness.but I don't think anything will last.I am still grateful,don't get me wrong for everything I have.but to want something,to care for something or someone.only confounds my deep angst that I get from these.I think of god and look for peace.even that feels selfish,because in looking for peace.I feel I want for something myself.I still will look for this answer and continue to turn to this when I suffer from things that I seem to overpower my senses or me.

Lucky me

No idea why I never thought of this! The app so convenient! Yes, the brain was heating up.too many thoughts.it was twitter vs blogger.came back to the old faithful.a year full if heart breaks.was this the only thing tht mattered.so many other happy things were done.yet all I can think of is this.anyhow ! Now there will be more thoughts and posts.yippee doo...