Pain

I now understand atleast to some extent the pain because of which peole want to give up this material world.Some of my objects if desire, be it a person or a thing give me so much of unbearable pain that I wonder when I would be free of such a yearning.of late, I turn to god to stop me from want something so much that it hurts.I revel in my ambitions and happiness.but I don't think anything will last.I am still grateful,don't get me wrong for everything I have.but to want something,to care for something or someone.only confounds my deep angst that I get from these.I think of god and look for peace.even that feels selfish,because in looking for peace.I feel I want for something myself.I still will look for this answer and continue to turn to this when I suffer from things that I seem to overpower my senses or me.